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The Five Side Effects of Kindness: This Book Will Make You Feel Better, Be Happier & Live Longer
Despite what you might have been told, we’re not inherently selfish. The truth is we’re inherently kind.Scientific evidence has proven that kindness changes the brain, impacts the heart and immune system, is an antidote to depression and even slows the ageing process. We’re actually genetically wired to be kind. In The Five Side Effects of Kindness, David Hamilton shows that the effects of kindness are felt daily throughout our nervous system. When we’re kind we feel happier and our bodies are healthiest.In his down-to-earth and accessible style, David shares •Kindness makes us happier •Kindness is good for the heart •Kindness slows ageing •Kindness improves relationships •Kindness is contagious
208 pages, Paperback
Published February 7, 2017
About the author
David R. Hamilton
32 books131 followersDavid has a first class honors degree in chemistry, specializing in biological and medicinal chemistry. He has the slightly geeky honour of having achieved 100% in his 3rd year university degree exam in ‘Statistical Mechanics’, which is a branch of quantum physics applied to chemistry.
After completing his PhD, he worked for 4 years in the pharmaceutical industry, first developing drugs for cardiovascular disease and cancer, then a year managing leadership and change projects. During this time he also served as an athletics coach and manager of Sale Harriers Manchester, one of the UK’s largest athletics clubs, leading the Junior Men’s team to three successive UK finals. Upon leaving the pharmaceutical industry, he co-founded the international relief charity Spirit Aid Foundation and served as a director for 2 years.
While writing his first book (2004-2005), he taught chemistry (main) plus ecology and mathematics (secondary) at West College Scotland (formerly, James Watt College of Further and Higher Education) and tutored chemistry at the University of Glasgow.
He’s now a bestselling author of 8 books (No’s 9 and 10 are due out in 2017) published by Hay House UK, and offer talks and workshops that use science to inspire – fusing neuroscience, the mind-body connection, kindness, and philosophical and eastern spiritual teachings. He also writes a regular blog on his website as well as occasional blogs for the Huffington Post (US edition) and Psychologies Life Labs, and is a columnist for Soul and Spirit Magazine. In 2016, David won the Kindred Spirit, ‘Best MBS Writer Award’.
He has been featured in numerous publications, including ELLE, RED Magazine, Psychologies, YOU Magazine, Good Housekeeping (both UK & US), and several newspapers.
You might wonder how he got into writing on the subjects he does. In his own words, “Well, during my time in the pharmaceutical industry, I was fascinated by the placebo effect – how people improve through believing they are receiving a drug – so I began to study mind-body interactions in my spare time. I decided to leave the pharmaceutical industry after 4 years because I wanted to educate about the mind-body connection, help people to believe in themselves more, and spread a little more kindness in the world in my own way.”
After completing his PhD, he worked for 4 years in the pharmaceutical industry, first developing drugs for cardiovascular disease and cancer, then a year managing leadership and change projects. During this time he also served as an athletics coach and manager of Sale Harriers Manchester, one of the UK’s largest athletics clubs, leading the Junior Men’s team to three successive UK finals. Upon leaving the pharmaceutical industry, he co-founded the international relief charity Spirit Aid Foundation and served as a director for 2 years.
While writing his first book (2004-2005), he taught chemistry (main) plus ecology and mathematics (secondary) at West College Scotland (formerly, James Watt College of Further and Higher Education) and tutored chemistry at the University of Glasgow.
He’s now a bestselling author of 8 books (No’s 9 and 10 are due out in 2017) published by Hay House UK, and offer talks and workshops that use science to inspire – fusing neuroscience, the mind-body connection, kindness, and philosophical and eastern spiritual teachings. He also writes a regular blog on his website as well as occasional blogs for the Huffington Post (US edition) and Psychologies Life Labs, and is a columnist for Soul and Spirit Magazine. In 2016, David won the Kindred Spirit, ‘Best MBS Writer Award’.
He has been featured in numerous publications, including ELLE, RED Magazine, Psychologies, YOU Magazine, Good Housekeeping (both UK & US), and several newspapers.
You might wonder how he got into writing on the subjects he does. In his own words, “Well, during my time in the pharmaceutical industry, I was fascinated by the placebo effect – how people improve through believing they are receiving a drug – so I began to study mind-body interactions in my spare time. I decided to leave the pharmaceutical industry after 4 years because I wanted to educate about the mind-body connection, help people to believe in themselves more, and spread a little more kindness in the world in my own way.”
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 31 reviews
January 21, 2021
Yet another self-help book that could have been reduced to a bumper sticker or, at most, a 3X5 index card. Here in Spain, they put little life-lesson quotes on the sugar packages at cafes. This book could work well in that format. Don't get me wrong, I'm a big believer in kindness; I just don't think you need an entire book to beat this into your head.
They should make everyone read this book every time they get behind the wheel of an automobile. The most churlish behavior in modern society is produced by drivers.
Kindness is Viagra for your arteries. Literally!
So, kindness makes my arteries hard? I thought that was a bad thing?
We’d been dating for a couple of months when one night, after going for a walk, we were sitting on a bench and I felt cold. I asked if I could borrow his jacket, but he wouldn’t give it to me. He said he would be cold as he only had a shirt on underneath.
First of all, if she’s cold, why not go inside? And according to the new rules outlined in the #ME TOO movement handbook, a woman shouldn’t accept a coat from a guy even if he begs her to take it, right? Isn’t that what they’re saying? Next, she’ll be expecting him to buy her a drink. But then I see that her name is Hazel so perhaps this was written back in 1803.
Find out what a loved one or friend really wants and provide it for them
I wish a friend or loved one had provided me with what I wanted at 17: two nurses at the same time. They didn’t even have to be board certified, just the slutty Halloween uniforms would have been enough. I would have settled for them just wearing a hat with a red cross on it.
Buy a book for someone.
And have them hit you in the back of the head with it as soon as you turn around. Buy a teenager a book instead of a video game at your peril.
Tell someone they look great.
Yeah, right. Then go directly to your human resources department and confess.
Buy a large box of cakes and pastries and give them out on the street.
Start in front of a grade school. Be sure to wear a raincoat even on a sunny day.
When a new person joins the company you work for or moves into your street, make them feel welcome by taking them for lunch.
Especially if they are totally hot. Don’t worry about the ugly and fat ones; they’re someone else’s problem.
Slip some money into the purse or pocket of someone who needs it, so that when they find it they think they must have misplaced it.
This is like reverse pickpocketing and assumes you have this skill in your repertoire.
Give someone a hug for no reason.
And then wait patiently for the cops to arrive and put the cuffs on you.
Write a poem or song for someone.
I can’t think of anything further from kindness than a truly awful poem or song. Only try this if you are Stevie Wonder.
Search out inspirational or funny videos on YouTube, Facebook or any other social media outlet, or other inspirational or funny material, and send it to someone who needs it.
What? Like a picture of a kitten hanging from a tree branch and a quip about how shitty Mondays are? Send that tripe to me at your peril.
There are other sources to find ideas on kindness.
1. Give your cocaine dealer a little something extra every other week.
2. Send flowers to the funeral of that Crip gang member you murdered last week, and include a thoughtful and inspirational message to his family.
3. After throwing a beat-down on some punk for stepping out of line, give him a little hug.
4. If one of your henchmen digs a shallow grave a little deeper than absolutely necessary, give him a compliment.
5. If a friend wakes you up at three in the morning to help him get rid of a body, pick up coffee and donuts before you get to his house. It’s the little things.
They should make everyone read this book every time they get behind the wheel of an automobile. The most churlish behavior in modern society is produced by drivers.
Kindness is Viagra for your arteries. Literally!
So, kindness makes my arteries hard? I thought that was a bad thing?
We’d been dating for a couple of months when one night, after going for a walk, we were sitting on a bench and I felt cold. I asked if I could borrow his jacket, but he wouldn’t give it to me. He said he would be cold as he only had a shirt on underneath.
First of all, if she’s cold, why not go inside? And according to the new rules outlined in the #ME TOO movement handbook, a woman shouldn’t accept a coat from a guy even if he begs her to take it, right? Isn’t that what they’re saying? Next, she’ll be expecting him to buy her a drink. But then I see that her name is Hazel so perhaps this was written back in 1803.
Find out what a loved one or friend really wants and provide it for them
I wish a friend or loved one had provided me with what I wanted at 17: two nurses at the same time. They didn’t even have to be board certified, just the slutty Halloween uniforms would have been enough. I would have settled for them just wearing a hat with a red cross on it.
Buy a book for someone.
And have them hit you in the back of the head with it as soon as you turn around. Buy a teenager a book instead of a video game at your peril.
Tell someone they look great.
Yeah, right. Then go directly to your human resources department and confess.
Buy a large box of cakes and pastries and give them out on the street.
Start in front of a grade school. Be sure to wear a raincoat even on a sunny day.
When a new person joins the company you work for or moves into your street, make them feel welcome by taking them for lunch.
Especially if they are totally hot. Don’t worry about the ugly and fat ones; they’re someone else’s problem.
Slip some money into the purse or pocket of someone who needs it, so that when they find it they think they must have misplaced it.
This is like reverse pickpocketing and assumes you have this skill in your repertoire.
Give someone a hug for no reason.
And then wait patiently for the cops to arrive and put the cuffs on you.
Write a poem or song for someone.
I can’t think of anything further from kindness than a truly awful poem or song. Only try this if you are Stevie Wonder.
Search out inspirational or funny videos on YouTube, Facebook or any other social media outlet, or other inspirational or funny material, and send it to someone who needs it.
What? Like a picture of a kitten hanging from a tree branch and a quip about how shitty Mondays are? Send that tripe to me at your peril.
There are other sources to find ideas on kindness.
Acts of Kindness You May Have Never Thought About
(but the mafia has)
1. Give your cocaine dealer a little something extra every other week.
2. Send flowers to the funeral of that Crip gang member you murdered last week, and include a thoughtful and inspirational message to his family.
3. After throwing a beat-down on some punk for stepping out of line, give him a little hug.
4. If one of your henchmen digs a shallow grave a little deeper than absolutely necessary, give him a compliment.
5. If a friend wakes you up at three in the morning to help him get rid of a body, pick up coffee and donuts before you get to his house. It’s the little things.
August 11, 2022
Todos deberían leerlo.
February 24, 2023
3.8/5 (but rounded up to a 4).There was a lot in this book that is already known, so it was repetitive to me BUT it was backed by an abundance of research and big terms, which doesn’t tickle my fancy. I’m not a research/science nerd. (Which is why I knocked it down a little). But I still still loved the random acts of kindness ideas, the many kindness stories and I did still have some good takeaways. For instance, a lot of people, including myself think of kindness as making others feel good, so it in turn makes us feel good. But the book did teach me that kindness is also strongly connected to our health. It’s not just mental health, it is connected strongly to our physical health. Which was cool to learn.
March 31, 2019
This was a good book and a nice reminder to be kind. I didn't realize there were so many health benefits to being kind. The author focuses on five and shares stories and research behind each:
1. Kindness makes us happier.
2. Kindness is good for the heart.
3. Kindness shows ageing.
4. Kindness improves relationships.
5. Kindness is contagious.
While none of these are the reason for being kind, it is nice to know that kindness is good for everyone. Kindness makes life better and the world a better place. Here are a few quotes I liked from the book:
"Kindness alters the brain and...dilates arteries and lowers blood pressure...it is an antidote to depression and...it slows the seven big processes of ageing and even ageing at the cellular level.... we're all wired for kindness (p. xvi)."
"Kindness makes us happier, it's good for the heart, it slows ageing, it improves relationships and it's contagious (p. xvi).'
"Is kindness selfish if you know you'll benefit from it?... It really depends (xvii)."
"We shouldn't wear ourselves out by giving and giving and giving, only for our kindness to be met with expectation or, worse, ingratitude. Everyone deserves to be appreciated (p. xxi)."
"Kindness is less stressful when there are no strings attached (p. xxi)."
"Kindness benefits us all (p. xxii)."
"Be kind because it's the right thing to do, because someone you know is suffering and needs help, because a random opportunity presents itself as you go about your day, because it's nice and because there's something in human nature that enjoys the connections we create through helping each other (p. xxiii)."
"'How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it (George Elliston, p. 1).'"
"'I helped her onto the train and she gave me a big, huge hug and kept saying, 'God bless you!' I was super touched by that. Two strangers on an empty train, hugging each other and not able to stop smiling. For me, there's no better high than helping someone (p. 4).'"
"'Being kind will make you rich--in happiness (p. 5).'"
"After the six weeks, those who had been kind towards others and the world were happier. On the other hand, those who had been kind to themselves didn't report any significant change in happiness, which might come as a bit of a surprise to some (p. 7)."
"A similar study found that people who.... 'volunteered my time', 'gave money to a person in need' or 'listened carefully to another's point of view' were happier, more satisfied with their lives and had a greater sense of wellbeing compared with people who were more self-focused (p. 7)."
"Regardless of how much they'd been given, those who spent the money on others were happiest (p. 8)."
"Allow someone in front of you in the supermarket queue (p. 8)."
"Is it wrong to be helpful if part of your reason for doing so is to feel better (p. 8)?"
"Treating ourselves does in fact make us happier in the short term, but only when we do it as a statement of self-love (p. 10)."
"Simple though it was, 'counting kindnesses' had a large impact on the women's lives: they basically became happier (p. 11)."
"Each day is filled with dozens of small kindnesses--holding a door open, listening, picking up a dropped pen, smiling at someone, nodding in agreement to make someone feel validated (p. 12)."
"A lot of happiness comes from interaction with people (p. 15)."
"'Go out and serve and see your depression lift (p. 17).'"
"Focusing outwards, on helping others, is counterintuitive... when we look outwards, towards the suffering or the needs of others, our natural tendency to care comes to life and the burden of depression can gradually dissipate (p. 18)."
"I've asked several people why they do kind things. One of the main answers I get (and it usually comes with a shrug) is 'Just because.' Kindness resonates at such a deep level with us that we don't even think about why we should show it. It's an inner feeling that says, 'Yep! This is how it's supposed to be (p. 19).'"
"Kindness has been a treatment for depression and other psychiatric disorders for much longer (p. 20)."
"If medical students and doctors could be taught that kindness can heal the heart and mind, and if people suffering from depression could understand that it can alleviate some of their symptoms, many patients, I believe, would benefit from a 'kindness prescription' as a primary course of action, or at least as a practice to be used in concert with other treatment (p. 21)."
"Give...Do something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, as linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and creates connections with the people around you (p. 22)."
"Altruism is rooted in knowing that we are okay, not that we aren't as deserving as others (p. 23)."
"Kindness has been shown to give older people as greater will to live (p. 23)."
"Sometimes I suggest to people that they push themselves out of their comfort zone in an effort to be kind. These efforts often bring big rewards (p. 24)."
"The high reading form the monks' brains was believed to be due to dense wiring in different parts of their brains as a result of their practice of compassion (p. 27)."
"Just as focusing on helping others helps alleviate depression, having compassion for the suffering of others takes us out of our own suffering. It stops us focusing on the problems that are causing us worry and stress. It aligns with our deepest nature. It lets us glimpse a grander part of ourselves, that portion that genuinely wants to see our friends and loved ones happy (p. 30)."
"I find that the more we focus on things we're grateful for, the more things we find to be grateful for (p. 32)."
"Give someone a compliment (p. 34)."
"We often never know the impact of an act of kindness or compassion on another person. Sometimes it can leave a lasting impression (p. 35)."
"Sometimes when an opportunity for compassion or kindness presents itself, we forget why we're supposed to judge or hate; we even forget our own suffering as something inside us rises to the surface and places someone's immediate needs above all else (p. 36)."
"We should never underestimate the power of a kind act, however big or seemingly small (p. 37)."
"Write a thank-you card to someone (p. 37)."
"Kindness physically changes the brain. It produces serotonin, which is exactly what some antidepressants seek to boost (p. 38)."
"'Wherever you go, go with all your heart (Confucius, p. 41).'"
"We tend to trust more when we have plenty of oxytocin. An increase in oxytocin will even make us like a person more... It's been shown to help reduce social anxiety. It even helps us understand each other's emotions (p. 44)."
"One of the things that characterize a close community is people helping each other... oxytocin flows like a river under these conditions. And when it's flowing, it is 'protective' of the heart--cardioprotective (p. 46)."
"Anytime you're witnessing kindness, thinking about kindness, recalling kindness or performing an act of kindness, you're turning on your oxytocin tap. Essentially, oxytocin is a molecule of kindness (p. 54)."
"Offer to look after a friend or family member's children for a few hours (p. 54)."
"Those who were mostly hostile were found to have high levels of 'coronary artery calcification', which is basically a hardening of the coronary arteries caused by a build-up of plaque... The couples who were the kindest and most loving had normal arteries (p. 55)."
"Buy some food for a homeless person (p. 55)."
"As we harden on the outside in our attitudes to people, so we harden on the inside in our arteries; as we soften on the outside in our attitudes to people, so we soften on the inside (p. 55)."
"The build-up of plaque that leads to hardening of the arteries is a consequence of two processes: oxidation and inflammation (p. 55)."
"Phone someone on their birthday and sing 'Happy Birthday'...to them (p. 58)."
"Kindness produces oxytocin which reduces inflammation and oxidative stress (p. 59)."
"Kindnnection: A relationship in which one person or thing is connected to another, where the relationship is characterized by kindness. Okay, that's a made-up word, but it means kind connections; that is, connections that are based on kindness, friendship or love (p. 60)."
"It is healthier to be married or in a relationship than to be single or living on your own... It's not the being married or in a relationship that matters so much, it's the quality of the relationship that's the important thing. This is because a good-quality relationship turns on our oxytocin taps (p. 60)."
"As long as there's kindnnection, then the relationship is good for the heart (p. 61)."
"Kindness doesn't always require a physical act. It can simply be friendliness. It can be listening. It can be paying a compliment. It can be sympathy. It can even be laughing at someone's attempt to be funny, especially if it's not so funny (that's what my family and friends do for me). All these acts produce kindnnection (p. 61)."
"I paid the toll for him (p. 64)."
"There's no question that stress can cause heart disease... What we often miss is that kindness can diffuse stress (p. 64)."
"Kindness neutralized the effects of stressful events (p. 65)."
"Be a friend to someone in need (p. 66)."
"Research has found that gratitude really does help people with heart conditions (p. 66)."
"Hugs are a natural expression of kindness, love, affection, and gratitude. They can break down barriers between people. A hug can ease pain, both emotional and physical (p. 67)."
"Most of us enjoy hugs. They bring us closer together--not just physically but emotionally, too. They also produce oxytocin (p. 67)."
"Make a donation to a charity (p. 67)."
"The women who had the most hugs also had the most oxytocin. Simple as that! They also had the lowest blood pressure and heart rates (p. 68)."
"Then a miracle happened. As doctors and nurses watched, little Kyrie moved her arm and placed it around Brielle, apparently hugging her tiny sister (p. 68)."
"Hugs produce oxytocin (p. 69)."
"Oxytocin also counters two processes that lead to hardening of the arteries: oxidative stress and inflammation (p. 70).
"Kindness is also an antidote to stress, so it can offset the risk that stress poses to our cardiovascular health (p. 70)."
"Hugs are good for the heart. A hug a day keeps the cardiologist away (p. 70)."
"'You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing (Michael Pritchard, p. 71).'"
"Our biological age...is the apparent age of our body, and it depends on a lot of things, including our diet, how much exercise we get, our stress levels, our attitude and whether we've kind or not. Our biological age can be younger or older than our chronological age (p. 73)."
"Lifestyle affects health... genetics only contributes about 20-30 percent to longevity... We learn a lot from our parents and grandparents... We also often learn to have the same level of self-esteem as our primary parent and this affects our emotional style and how we interact with others and form relationships (p. 74)."
"Muscle cells replenish themselves naturally and it is when the rate of degeneration is faster than the rate of regeneration that we have apparent ageing (p. 77)."
"Exercise is one way that our muscles regenerate. Can kindness help them regenerate too (p. 78)?"
"Oxytocin helps stem cells create heart cells and muscle cells (p. 79)."
"Over and above countering the effects of stress, kindness acts directly on muscle regeneration at the cellular level (p. 80)."
"'Loving-kindness'...defined as 'the wish that others find genuine happiness and wellbeing'... is rooted in an attitude of compassion and kindness (p. 83)."
"We don't normally imagine that being kind can affect our skin. And wrinkles forming in our skin is a natural process of ageing, but...how fast they form depends on our stress levels, our diet and also on how we are being (kind vs contemptuous, for example) (p. 90)."
"What about the way worry can turn your hair white (p. 90)?"
"Oxytocin is only produced when kindness is genuine. If it's half-hearted in order to get a quick beneficial side effect, then that side effect won't happen (p. 91)."
"Cultivate feelings of affection. Allow yourself to be uplifted by acts of moral beauty. You might be surprised at just how much this does for your skin (p. 91)."
"Some scientists believe that keeping up our levels of nitric oxide is about the most important thing we can do to maintain our general health and slow ageing (p. 93)."
"Exercise is good for pumping up our nitric oxide levels (p. 93)."
"Kindness produces oxytocin, which produces nitric oxide (p. 93)."
"Mediation helps us to feel compassion and dwell on kind sentiment, and it's these feelings that produce the nitric oxide (p. 93)."
"If you're getting a coffee for yourself in the office, offer to get one for your colleagues around you, or just surprise someone with a coffee on your return (p. 99)."
"Stress is often caused by what we focus on. A deadline at work can cause stress and the thought of the deadline can have the same effect. And this stress can suppress the immune system. It's the same with kindness, except that the thoughts that bring about the feelings of kindness, connection, compassion and affection elevate the immune system instead (p. 101)."
"There are seven processes of ageing that can be slowed by kindness. They are: muscle degeneration, reduced vagal tone, inflammation, oxidative stress, depleted nitric oxide, shortened telomeres and immunosenescence (p. 102)."
"'At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet (Plato, p. 105).'"
"'I pick kindness.' That was the response given by a majority of people when asked what they most wanted in a prospective mate (p. 107)."
"It's natural for us to be drawn to people who are kind. We find it attractive because some ancient instinct inside us knows that kindness is the foundation upon which all human life exists (p. 108)."
"Nature is quite efficient and tends to favour low-energy processes, because our time, as food availability fluctuates, the less energy we need to survive, the better (p. 109)."
"People who share tend to develop good relationships, while people who are more selfish tend to have weaker relationships (p. 110)."
"Send flowers to an elderly person (p. 113)."
"Kindness is relationship glue (p. 113)."
"Of course...there's more to a relationship than just kindness, but kindness is the way to go if we want our relationships to last (p. 117)."
"The most important thing to be is kind. Listen. Be responsive. Watch out for bids and kindly engage in sharing whatever experience comes out of them (p. 117)."
"Kindness expands us (p. 120)."
"There is always room for compassion, in business, you just have to look for the opportunity (p. 122)."
"Kindness deepens a friendship (p. 124)."
"Gratitude was a reciprocal kindness (p. 125)."
"Gratitude encourages us to notice the blessings in both our romantic relationships and our friendships. We start to recall things that we've forgotten that were significant at an earlier time. And so we start to show more kindness towards our partners and friends (p. 126)."
"'The fish is sick. I'm praying for it.' Kenny just looked at me, nodded and said, 'Yup! She knows what it's all about (p. 128).'"
"Our ancient ancestors learned that it was easier to share and that there was safety in numbers. This is why kindness is our nature. Its also why it's so healthy for us. The gene that produces oxytocin is over 500 million years old and has become integrated into a large number of our body's systems, which means these systems respond to kindness. That's why kindness makes us happier, is good for our heart ans lows ageing (p. 129)."
"'Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end (Scott Adams, p. 131).'"
"She reappeared a few minutes later carrying a brown bag with some food and what I assume was a hot drink. She handed it to the man and they spoke for a few minutes. Then she walked away. It was a beautiful act of kindness, unnoticed by most of the world, and most likely the girl won't say anything to anyone either. But it really touched me. I felt uplifted, inspired even... For the rest of the day I found myself making an extra effort to be helpful to people.... Her kindness had actually caused the other homeless man to receive $10, shop assistants to exchange some smiles and my family and friends to receive help and support (p. 133)."
"Send a card to one of your old schoolteachers or university professors and tell them how much they influenced your life (p. 136)."
"Elevation uplifts us and produces an immediate desire to emulate the kindness we witness. It inspires us to carry the spirit of kindness forward (p. 137)."
"After seeing a photo depicting love, the infants were three times more likely to show kind behavior than if they were shown a different orientation of dolls. This is a very important phenomenon because it shows just how sensitive children are to what they see around them. When we display kindness, or even just depict love or kindness in some way, it impacts how infants and children behave (p. 140)."
"Children are also easily influenced by other children being kind (p. 141)."
"Satisfaction levels of the managers causes a ripple effect... Happy employees treat customers better, and the kinder, more helpful, respectful and supportive a manager is, the happier an employee is likely to be. And that happiness and spirit of helpfulness usually ripples out of other people they interact with in the company (p. 144)."
"On average, if your kind act inspires four people, and each of them does something kind that inspires four more people, who each inspire four more, then just from one single act of kindness you will have indirectly helped 64 people (4 x 4 x 4). And most of them you will never meet in your lifetime (p. 147)."
"Years later he became a distinguished doctor. One day he discovered that the girl who had given him the glass of milk was receiving treatment at the hospital at which he worked. Realizing that she was unlikely to be able to afford the high charges for her medical care, he obtained her bill, wrote upon it in bold handwriting, 'Paid in full with one glass of milk' and signed it (p. 151)."
"Set up kindness groups and share your experiences with others. Share videos through social media. The more people who are elevated by witnessing or learning about acts of kindness, the more kindness ripples we create (p. 152)."
"Search out inspirational or funny videos on YouTube, Facebook or any other social media outlet, or other inspirational or funny material, and send it to someone who needs it (p. 152)."
"Every act of kindness matters. It matters to the people we help. It also has side effects... Kindness makes us happier, benefits the heart, slows ageing, improves our relationships and is contagious (p. 161)."
"'Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see (Mark Twain, p. 161).'"
"I'd like to challenge you to perform at least one act of kindness a day for seven days in a row. The intention behind this is to make people smile, to lift spirits--to make a difference (p. 165)."
1. Kindness makes us happier.
2. Kindness is good for the heart.
3. Kindness shows ageing.
4. Kindness improves relationships.
5. Kindness is contagious.
While none of these are the reason for being kind, it is nice to know that kindness is good for everyone. Kindness makes life better and the world a better place. Here are a few quotes I liked from the book:
"Kindness alters the brain and...dilates arteries and lowers blood pressure...it is an antidote to depression and...it slows the seven big processes of ageing and even ageing at the cellular level.... we're all wired for kindness (p. xvi)."
"Kindness makes us happier, it's good for the heart, it slows ageing, it improves relationships and it's contagious (p. xvi).'
"Is kindness selfish if you know you'll benefit from it?... It really depends (xvii)."
"We shouldn't wear ourselves out by giving and giving and giving, only for our kindness to be met with expectation or, worse, ingratitude. Everyone deserves to be appreciated (p. xxi)."
"Kindness is less stressful when there are no strings attached (p. xxi)."
"Kindness benefits us all (p. xxii)."
"Be kind because it's the right thing to do, because someone you know is suffering and needs help, because a random opportunity presents itself as you go about your day, because it's nice and because there's something in human nature that enjoys the connections we create through helping each other (p. xxiii)."
"'How beautiful a day can be when kindness touches it (George Elliston, p. 1).'"
"'I helped her onto the train and she gave me a big, huge hug and kept saying, 'God bless you!' I was super touched by that. Two strangers on an empty train, hugging each other and not able to stop smiling. For me, there's no better high than helping someone (p. 4).'"
"'Being kind will make you rich--in happiness (p. 5).'"
"After the six weeks, those who had been kind towards others and the world were happier. On the other hand, those who had been kind to themselves didn't report any significant change in happiness, which might come as a bit of a surprise to some (p. 7)."
"A similar study found that people who.... 'volunteered my time', 'gave money to a person in need' or 'listened carefully to another's point of view' were happier, more satisfied with their lives and had a greater sense of wellbeing compared with people who were more self-focused (p. 7)."
"Regardless of how much they'd been given, those who spent the money on others were happiest (p. 8)."
"Allow someone in front of you in the supermarket queue (p. 8)."
"Is it wrong to be helpful if part of your reason for doing so is to feel better (p. 8)?"
"Treating ourselves does in fact make us happier in the short term, but only when we do it as a statement of self-love (p. 10)."
"Simple though it was, 'counting kindnesses' had a large impact on the women's lives: they basically became happier (p. 11)."
"Each day is filled with dozens of small kindnesses--holding a door open, listening, picking up a dropped pen, smiling at someone, nodding in agreement to make someone feel validated (p. 12)."
"A lot of happiness comes from interaction with people (p. 15)."
"'Go out and serve and see your depression lift (p. 17).'"
"Focusing outwards, on helping others, is counterintuitive... when we look outwards, towards the suffering or the needs of others, our natural tendency to care comes to life and the burden of depression can gradually dissipate (p. 18)."
"I've asked several people why they do kind things. One of the main answers I get (and it usually comes with a shrug) is 'Just because.' Kindness resonates at such a deep level with us that we don't even think about why we should show it. It's an inner feeling that says, 'Yep! This is how it's supposed to be (p. 19).'"
"Kindness has been a treatment for depression and other psychiatric disorders for much longer (p. 20)."
"If medical students and doctors could be taught that kindness can heal the heart and mind, and if people suffering from depression could understand that it can alleviate some of their symptoms, many patients, I believe, would benefit from a 'kindness prescription' as a primary course of action, or at least as a practice to be used in concert with other treatment (p. 21)."
"Give...Do something nice for a friend, or a stranger. Thank someone. Smile. Volunteer your time. Join a community group. Look out, as well as in. Seeing yourself, and your happiness, as linked to the wider community can be incredibly rewarding and creates connections with the people around you (p. 22)."
"Altruism is rooted in knowing that we are okay, not that we aren't as deserving as others (p. 23)."
"Kindness has been shown to give older people as greater will to live (p. 23)."
"Sometimes I suggest to people that they push themselves out of their comfort zone in an effort to be kind. These efforts often bring big rewards (p. 24)."
"The high reading form the monks' brains was believed to be due to dense wiring in different parts of their brains as a result of their practice of compassion (p. 27)."
"Just as focusing on helping others helps alleviate depression, having compassion for the suffering of others takes us out of our own suffering. It stops us focusing on the problems that are causing us worry and stress. It aligns with our deepest nature. It lets us glimpse a grander part of ourselves, that portion that genuinely wants to see our friends and loved ones happy (p. 30)."
"I find that the more we focus on things we're grateful for, the more things we find to be grateful for (p. 32)."
"Give someone a compliment (p. 34)."
"We often never know the impact of an act of kindness or compassion on another person. Sometimes it can leave a lasting impression (p. 35)."
"Sometimes when an opportunity for compassion or kindness presents itself, we forget why we're supposed to judge or hate; we even forget our own suffering as something inside us rises to the surface and places someone's immediate needs above all else (p. 36)."
"We should never underestimate the power of a kind act, however big or seemingly small (p. 37)."
"Write a thank-you card to someone (p. 37)."
"Kindness physically changes the brain. It produces serotonin, which is exactly what some antidepressants seek to boost (p. 38)."
"'Wherever you go, go with all your heart (Confucius, p. 41).'"
"We tend to trust more when we have plenty of oxytocin. An increase in oxytocin will even make us like a person more... It's been shown to help reduce social anxiety. It even helps us understand each other's emotions (p. 44)."
"One of the things that characterize a close community is people helping each other... oxytocin flows like a river under these conditions. And when it's flowing, it is 'protective' of the heart--cardioprotective (p. 46)."
"Anytime you're witnessing kindness, thinking about kindness, recalling kindness or performing an act of kindness, you're turning on your oxytocin tap. Essentially, oxytocin is a molecule of kindness (p. 54)."
"Offer to look after a friend or family member's children for a few hours (p. 54)."
"Those who were mostly hostile were found to have high levels of 'coronary artery calcification', which is basically a hardening of the coronary arteries caused by a build-up of plaque... The couples who were the kindest and most loving had normal arteries (p. 55)."
"Buy some food for a homeless person (p. 55)."
"As we harden on the outside in our attitudes to people, so we harden on the inside in our arteries; as we soften on the outside in our attitudes to people, so we soften on the inside (p. 55)."
"The build-up of plaque that leads to hardening of the arteries is a consequence of two processes: oxidation and inflammation (p. 55)."
"Phone someone on their birthday and sing 'Happy Birthday'...to them (p. 58)."
"Kindness produces oxytocin which reduces inflammation and oxidative stress (p. 59)."
"Kindnnection: A relationship in which one person or thing is connected to another, where the relationship is characterized by kindness. Okay, that's a made-up word, but it means kind connections; that is, connections that are based on kindness, friendship or love (p. 60)."
"It is healthier to be married or in a relationship than to be single or living on your own... It's not the being married or in a relationship that matters so much, it's the quality of the relationship that's the important thing. This is because a good-quality relationship turns on our oxytocin taps (p. 60)."
"As long as there's kindnnection, then the relationship is good for the heart (p. 61)."
"Kindness doesn't always require a physical act. It can simply be friendliness. It can be listening. It can be paying a compliment. It can be sympathy. It can even be laughing at someone's attempt to be funny, especially if it's not so funny (that's what my family and friends do for me). All these acts produce kindnnection (p. 61)."
"I paid the toll for him (p. 64)."
"There's no question that stress can cause heart disease... What we often miss is that kindness can diffuse stress (p. 64)."
"Kindness neutralized the effects of stressful events (p. 65)."
"Be a friend to someone in need (p. 66)."
"Research has found that gratitude really does help people with heart conditions (p. 66)."
"Hugs are a natural expression of kindness, love, affection, and gratitude. They can break down barriers between people. A hug can ease pain, both emotional and physical (p. 67)."
"Most of us enjoy hugs. They bring us closer together--not just physically but emotionally, too. They also produce oxytocin (p. 67)."
"Make a donation to a charity (p. 67)."
"The women who had the most hugs also had the most oxytocin. Simple as that! They also had the lowest blood pressure and heart rates (p. 68)."
"Then a miracle happened. As doctors and nurses watched, little Kyrie moved her arm and placed it around Brielle, apparently hugging her tiny sister (p. 68)."
"Hugs produce oxytocin (p. 69)."
"Oxytocin also counters two processes that lead to hardening of the arteries: oxidative stress and inflammation (p. 70).
"Kindness is also an antidote to stress, so it can offset the risk that stress poses to our cardiovascular health (p. 70)."
"Hugs are good for the heart. A hug a day keeps the cardiologist away (p. 70)."
"'You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing (Michael Pritchard, p. 71).'"
"Our biological age...is the apparent age of our body, and it depends on a lot of things, including our diet, how much exercise we get, our stress levels, our attitude and whether we've kind or not. Our biological age can be younger or older than our chronological age (p. 73)."
"Lifestyle affects health... genetics only contributes about 20-30 percent to longevity... We learn a lot from our parents and grandparents... We also often learn to have the same level of self-esteem as our primary parent and this affects our emotional style and how we interact with others and form relationships (p. 74)."
"Muscle cells replenish themselves naturally and it is when the rate of degeneration is faster than the rate of regeneration that we have apparent ageing (p. 77)."
"Exercise is one way that our muscles regenerate. Can kindness help them regenerate too (p. 78)?"
"Oxytocin helps stem cells create heart cells and muscle cells (p. 79)."
"Over and above countering the effects of stress, kindness acts directly on muscle regeneration at the cellular level (p. 80)."
"'Loving-kindness'...defined as 'the wish that others find genuine happiness and wellbeing'... is rooted in an attitude of compassion and kindness (p. 83)."
"We don't normally imagine that being kind can affect our skin. And wrinkles forming in our skin is a natural process of ageing, but...how fast they form depends on our stress levels, our diet and also on how we are being (kind vs contemptuous, for example) (p. 90)."
"What about the way worry can turn your hair white (p. 90)?"
"Oxytocin is only produced when kindness is genuine. If it's half-hearted in order to get a quick beneficial side effect, then that side effect won't happen (p. 91)."
"Cultivate feelings of affection. Allow yourself to be uplifted by acts of moral beauty. You might be surprised at just how much this does for your skin (p. 91)."
"Some scientists believe that keeping up our levels of nitric oxide is about the most important thing we can do to maintain our general health and slow ageing (p. 93)."
"Exercise is good for pumping up our nitric oxide levels (p. 93)."
"Kindness produces oxytocin, which produces nitric oxide (p. 93)."
"Mediation helps us to feel compassion and dwell on kind sentiment, and it's these feelings that produce the nitric oxide (p. 93)."
"If you're getting a coffee for yourself in the office, offer to get one for your colleagues around you, or just surprise someone with a coffee on your return (p. 99)."
"Stress is often caused by what we focus on. A deadline at work can cause stress and the thought of the deadline can have the same effect. And this stress can suppress the immune system. It's the same with kindness, except that the thoughts that bring about the feelings of kindness, connection, compassion and affection elevate the immune system instead (p. 101)."
"There are seven processes of ageing that can be slowed by kindness. They are: muscle degeneration, reduced vagal tone, inflammation, oxidative stress, depleted nitric oxide, shortened telomeres and immunosenescence (p. 102)."
"'At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet (Plato, p. 105).'"
"'I pick kindness.' That was the response given by a majority of people when asked what they most wanted in a prospective mate (p. 107)."
"It's natural for us to be drawn to people who are kind. We find it attractive because some ancient instinct inside us knows that kindness is the foundation upon which all human life exists (p. 108)."
"Nature is quite efficient and tends to favour low-energy processes, because our time, as food availability fluctuates, the less energy we need to survive, the better (p. 109)."
"People who share tend to develop good relationships, while people who are more selfish tend to have weaker relationships (p. 110)."
"Send flowers to an elderly person (p. 113)."
"Kindness is relationship glue (p. 113)."
"Of course...there's more to a relationship than just kindness, but kindness is the way to go if we want our relationships to last (p. 117)."
"The most important thing to be is kind. Listen. Be responsive. Watch out for bids and kindly engage in sharing whatever experience comes out of them (p. 117)."
"Kindness expands us (p. 120)."
"There is always room for compassion, in business, you just have to look for the opportunity (p. 122)."
"Kindness deepens a friendship (p. 124)."
"Gratitude was a reciprocal kindness (p. 125)."
"Gratitude encourages us to notice the blessings in both our romantic relationships and our friendships. We start to recall things that we've forgotten that were significant at an earlier time. And so we start to show more kindness towards our partners and friends (p. 126)."
"'The fish is sick. I'm praying for it.' Kenny just looked at me, nodded and said, 'Yup! She knows what it's all about (p. 128).'"
"Our ancient ancestors learned that it was easier to share and that there was safety in numbers. This is why kindness is our nature. Its also why it's so healthy for us. The gene that produces oxytocin is over 500 million years old and has become integrated into a large number of our body's systems, which means these systems respond to kindness. That's why kindness makes us happier, is good for our heart ans lows ageing (p. 129)."
"'Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end (Scott Adams, p. 131).'"
"She reappeared a few minutes later carrying a brown bag with some food and what I assume was a hot drink. She handed it to the man and they spoke for a few minutes. Then she walked away. It was a beautiful act of kindness, unnoticed by most of the world, and most likely the girl won't say anything to anyone either. But it really touched me. I felt uplifted, inspired even... For the rest of the day I found myself making an extra effort to be helpful to people.... Her kindness had actually caused the other homeless man to receive $10, shop assistants to exchange some smiles and my family and friends to receive help and support (p. 133)."
"Send a card to one of your old schoolteachers or university professors and tell them how much they influenced your life (p. 136)."
"Elevation uplifts us and produces an immediate desire to emulate the kindness we witness. It inspires us to carry the spirit of kindness forward (p. 137)."
"After seeing a photo depicting love, the infants were three times more likely to show kind behavior than if they were shown a different orientation of dolls. This is a very important phenomenon because it shows just how sensitive children are to what they see around them. When we display kindness, or even just depict love or kindness in some way, it impacts how infants and children behave (p. 140)."
"Children are also easily influenced by other children being kind (p. 141)."
"Satisfaction levels of the managers causes a ripple effect... Happy employees treat customers better, and the kinder, more helpful, respectful and supportive a manager is, the happier an employee is likely to be. And that happiness and spirit of helpfulness usually ripples out of other people they interact with in the company (p. 144)."
"On average, if your kind act inspires four people, and each of them does something kind that inspires four more people, who each inspire four more, then just from one single act of kindness you will have indirectly helped 64 people (4 x 4 x 4). And most of them you will never meet in your lifetime (p. 147)."
"Years later he became a distinguished doctor. One day he discovered that the girl who had given him the glass of milk was receiving treatment at the hospital at which he worked. Realizing that she was unlikely to be able to afford the high charges for her medical care, he obtained her bill, wrote upon it in bold handwriting, 'Paid in full with one glass of milk' and signed it (p. 151)."
"Set up kindness groups and share your experiences with others. Share videos through social media. The more people who are elevated by witnessing or learning about acts of kindness, the more kindness ripples we create (p. 152)."
"Search out inspirational or funny videos on YouTube, Facebook or any other social media outlet, or other inspirational or funny material, and send it to someone who needs it (p. 152)."
"Every act of kindness matters. It matters to the people we help. It also has side effects... Kindness makes us happier, benefits the heart, slows ageing, improves our relationships and is contagious (p. 161)."
"'Kindness is the language that the deaf can hear and the blind can see (Mark Twain, p. 161).'"
"I'd like to challenge you to perform at least one act of kindness a day for seven days in a row. The intention behind this is to make people smile, to lift spirits--to make a difference (p. 165)."
December 30, 2017
a very quick read. not incredibly persuasive but a good organization of the concept and some of the suggested evidence if you are already interested it is a good read
November 7, 2023
This is a good book about why kindness is so good for us as a people and as human organisms. The book is an easy read and it’s clear the author is not only knowledgeable but committed to kindness as well. If you want to be happier, have a healthy heart, slow aging, improve relationships, and spread the contagion of kindness, this book will help.
I genuinely appreciate the authors way of taking significant amounts of research and distilling it into easy-to-understand terms making the book as stated – easy to read. The research is so convincing, I wonder why the information isn’t adopted more broadly in treating both physical and mental conditions. Lastly, laced throughout each chapter are examples of kindness all of us can do, and true to the spirit of the book a seven-day kindness challenge as a wrap-up. Easy read, easy to understand, convincing in every way, I recommend this book.
I genuinely appreciate the authors way of taking significant amounts of research and distilling it into easy-to-understand terms making the book as stated – easy to read. The research is so convincing, I wonder why the information isn’t adopted more broadly in treating both physical and mental conditions. Lastly, laced throughout each chapter are examples of kindness all of us can do, and true to the spirit of the book a seven-day kindness challenge as a wrap-up. Easy read, easy to understand, convincing in every way, I recommend this book.
August 25, 2021
Un libro muy bueno que se tiene que estar volviendo a leer cada cierto tiempo para volver a recordar los grandes beneficios que trae el ser amable y bondadoso.
Un gran libro que no te habla simplemente de que ser amable es importante, sino que todo está respaldado por diversos estudios científicos que han comprobado todos los increíbles beneficios que te regresa a tu vida ser amable.
Además de que al último te da un pequeño reto a cumplir para aplicar lo que leíste en el libro y llevar la amabilidad a cada día de tu vida, que si lo aplicamos todos, nos regresará más de lo que daremos con pequeños esfuerzos que aunque no lo creamos, hacen la diferencia.
Un gran libro que no te habla simplemente de que ser amable es importante, sino que todo está respaldado por diversos estudios científicos que han comprobado todos los increíbles beneficios que te regresa a tu vida ser amable.
Además de que al último te da un pequeño reto a cumplir para aplicar lo que leíste en el libro y llevar la amabilidad a cada día de tu vida, que si lo aplicamos todos, nos regresará más de lo que daremos con pequeños esfuerzos que aunque no lo creamos, hacen la diferencia.
March 21, 2021
Love it. Enlightening and thought provoking. Has changed how I look at life and how I live. I really do feel happier for reading this book and conducting acts of kindness. This book helps explain how kindness can change me psychologically and, which blew my mind, physiological. This is a must read. I want to share this book with everyone I know and dont know.
April 13, 2018
What a lovely book. Full of information about kindness side effects. Some of these felt more engaging to me than others.
I found this book as it was referenced from the Jaime Thurston's 'Kindness: The little thing that matters most'
I found this book as it was referenced from the Jaime Thurston's 'Kindness: The little thing that matters most'
January 15, 2021
Very very lovley book also I like the nice things he kept writing here & there. But I didn’t like the studies there I felt like if it was more stories would be better but the best thing that it teaches you to be nice & that is the most important thing.
May 28, 2023
Det her er en bog man kommer i godt humør af. Det er så lige til at være venlig og ofte modtager man endnu mere venlighed som følge af egne handlinger. Bogen er fuld af gode, sjove og overraskende erfaringer med venlighed og måske giver den dig mod på at være mere bevidst om at være venlig.
August 2, 2018
Highly recommend it.
June 11, 2020
tjae.. hmm.. altså..
smil - det smitter :p
smil - det smitter :p
July 19, 2020
Really interesting, I have always believed in being kind. The science behind it and how it spreads was fascinating. I am excited to try the 21 day challenge
September 23, 2020
Its a real good and uplifting book. Easy to read. David Hamilton is super cool.
December 14, 2020
A fairly quick read but a good one. I feel inspired to do more acts of kindness that are outside of my comfort zone!
April 11, 2021
kindness
amazing book , such a different view of kindness love it
7 day Challenge here we go !!!!!!
pay it forward
amazing book , such a different view of kindness love it
7 day Challenge here we go !!!!!!
pay it forward
March 10, 2022
I like Hamilton’s work, and this is no exception. I find he simplifies the science behind why kindness is so good for us - emotionally and physically. A feel good book.
May 10, 2022
Heartwarming!
I absolutely loved this book! It was very inspirational. I hope to take several ideas from this book and apply it to my daily life. I can't recommend it enough.
I absolutely loved this book! It was very inspirational. I hope to take several ideas from this book and apply it to my daily life. I can't recommend it enough.
December 10, 2022
Everyone should read this!
December 11, 2022
Ser amable te ayuda a mantenerte joven, y sano.
December 22, 2022
Inspirador...
March 30, 2024
Una lectura ligera para reflexionar sobre como actuamos el día a día. Te invita a hacer pequeños cambios que pueden hacer que te cambie la forma de percibir las cosas del día.
March 6, 2017
A quick and uplifting book to read. It's filled with anecdotes and practical suggestions. Doesn't take long to read and I guarantee it will put you in a good mood.
September 28, 2022
Aprendí que:
🌷 Ser amable sin expectativas es saludable para la mente y el corazón.
🌷 La gratitud y la bondad son respuestas activas constructivas.
🌷 La amabilidad genera paz interior, alegría, abundancia y amor.
Este libro te recuerda que no cuesta mucho ser amable y tienen demasiados beneficios bellos.
🌷 Ser amable sin expectativas es saludable para la mente y el corazón.
🌷 La gratitud y la bondad son respuestas activas constructivas.
🌷 La amabilidad genera paz interior, alegría, abundancia y amor.
Este libro te recuerda que no cuesta mucho ser amable y tienen demasiados beneficios bellos.
September 15, 2020
I think kindness is something missed in today's world especially in the world of politics and business. I want to be kind and I want others to be kind to me. Kindness is a gift to give which costs nothing but the intention and a mindset of treating others the way we want to be treated.
August 14, 2020
Lectura fácil
Es un libro de lectura fácil y rápida, muchas referencias para aclarar los puntos, vas a encontrar ejemplos que te invitaran a unirte al movimiento de ser una persona amable.
Es un libro de lectura fácil y rápida, muchas referencias para aclarar los puntos, vas a encontrar ejemplos que te invitaran a unirte al movimiento de ser una persona amable.
August 15, 2020
Libro con temas bastante interesantes, explica como los actos que hacemos dia dia impactan en nuestro entorno y en el rumbo que toma nuestra vida.
April 18, 2017
Quick, informative read. I feel like the title is a perfect indicator of what you can expect from this book. It's all about how kindness can strengthen your well-being and improve your life. It's short, to the point, and well-written. I'd recommend it to anyone.
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